Adam Sandler Has The Secret Of Writing

Adam Sandler. On the Internet, you don't hear much praise for the guy...and for a very good reason. His films, for a variety of reasons which may or may not have anything to do with Adam Sandler himself, are more pleasant than the sound of bagpipes at a mass crucifixion.

But Dr Sandler actually mastered the secret of writing. Yes. Chances are that Adam Sandler is a better writer than you. Please don't mention my name anywhere on your suicide note.

It's Not Over

I was having a bad day Friday. Work was a pain, with ten computers deciding to simultaneously break in one room - and the only way I could get them working again was to replace every network cable and tear out part of the wall so I could thread all the wires through. Then, covered in dust, I had to trawl through the cupboard full of broken computers noting the serial number, unscrewing the back, and then adding the serial numbers to a database. I still maintain that I like my job, but I almost ran out once the day was over.

Screwing Up

What's your one biggest fear? Mine is death. Oh, and spiders....because they remind me of death. If you want to be my boyfriend then you need to be able to deal with spiders in a way that doesn't involve having an arachnid corpse splattered against the wall. Or perhaps radiate a chemical that naturally repels them. Or just be really good with a hoover.

"Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?"

I generally dislike computers. People who say they only do what you tell them to do are filthy liars who'll be the first against the wall when I invade society and reclaim my rightful throne. I don't think I've ever told a computer to suddenly reboot or corrupt a file or explode into a shower of sparks.

YouTubers: The New Rockstars

So YouTube is celebrating its 10th Anniversary, which makes me incredibly nostalgic. I remember the days when only people my age understood this weird little website. There was a time when you could find anything on YouTube - albeit in crappy pre-HD quality. It was a wonderful, free world. Then Skynet invaded.

4 Tory Satires To Vent Your Fustration At

So with the most recent election, the 68% of the population who didn’t vote Conservative are understandably a bit miffed. The smear campaign against Ed Miliband (focusing on how he eats a bacon sandwich rather than his policies) evidently worked, the SNP took a chunk of Labour's seats, the Liberal Democrats were swallowed up, UKIP split the vote, and the way our shambolic voting system works means that even if you didn’t vote Conservative then you probably still did without knowing it.

No One Knows What They're Talking About

For a while I was a critic. I do still sort-of consider myself an unpaid critic even though I've never been paid in the first place. I cannot help but view a piece of artwork and judge it even though I know that people have worked hard on it and I don't want to crush their dreams. There's a reason why artists hate critics, which is why I'm surprised so many artists are also critics themselves.