Adam Sandler Has The Secret Of Writing

Adam Sandler. On the Internet, you don't hear much praise for the guy...and for a very good reason. His films, for a variety of reasons which may or may not have anything to do with Adam Sandler himself, are more pleasant than the sound of bagpipes at a mass crucifixion.

But Dr Sandler actually mastered the secret of writing. Yes. Chances are that Adam Sandler is a better writer than you. Please don't mention my name anywhere on your suicide note.

A while back Herr Adam made a film called Bedtime Story. It was just as awful as you'd expect a collaboration with Disney and Don Sandler. Don't ask me how I came to watch it, but I only lasted half an hour before changing the channel over to the most violent thing I could find. Don't watch it. You could be doing so much more with your life.

The basic premise is that Mosieur Sandler is a crappy parent who must tell bedtime stories to his children/step-children/I can't remember. He could just get an Audible.com account, but then we wouldn't have this masterpiece gracing the art of cinema. With a sprinkle of magic realism, the stories he tells at bedtime come true in real life....kind of. It's like The Monkey's Paw but without zombies.

Eventually, Senoir Adam realises he can exploit the hell out of this power and so starts telling bedtime stories where really great stuff happens to him so the next day his white middle class existence can be made more white and more middle class. But, the children he tells the story to don't like this. They want stuff to go wrong for the hero. They want the hero to face obstacles and have stuff go off in his face.

This is the secret of writing.

There is nothing more dull than everything going right. If the hero goes through the story without a hitch then it is a boring story. The children are perfectly right to introduce things that go wrong because then the hero has nothing to overcome. There is no journey or progression. There is no conflict to overcome, and no battle to be won. Why would you even tell a story if nothing other than good things happen in it?

Though, Adam Sandler first of his name doesn't make a good case considering that if the children shut up and let him tell his dull story then the movie would've been over in ten minuites. The world could've been saved from another crappy Darth Sandler movie...but no. And this is why I'm so glad I'll never reproduce.