On Re-Animating The Dead (in fiction, obviously)

It's often said that what is dead may never truly die. This is of course a part-truth. Death is death. My poor beloved cat won't suddenly re-appear outside my room to beg for food . But Terry Pratchett's last book has just been released and it's shot up to the number one bestseller despite Terry losing his defiant battle with Alzheimer's earlier this year. His name is still everywhere. He's dead, but certainly not forgotten - something we all aspire to.

The PM and The Pig

If you've been paying attention to social media, you'll know that everyone's making jokes about David Cameron partaking in a humiliating student initiation ceremony involving placing his genitals in the mouth of a dead pig. This post shall refrain from any pork-related humour, not because I'm above such rhetoric, but because all the best jokes have already been made and so I can add nothing to them.

Shakespeare Wrote Shakespeare

In 1920, J. Thomas Looney (sadly pronounced 'Lone-ey') wrote a book called: Shakespeare Identified. In it, he detailed how Shakespeare didn't actually write Shakespeare's 42 plays. It was in fact written by Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford who - according to Looney - was the bastard child of Queen Elizabeth I and later, through incest, fathered a bastard of his own that would've inherited the throne of England and the Tudor Line would've carried on if only society knew of this man's genius. All hail King Joffrey!

The Hypocrisy of The British Media

The Migrant Crisis. After branding the buildup of refugees that's been accumulating for the past two years as 'immigrants,' 'holiday-ruiners,' 'scroungers,' 'swams,' among many other dehumanising terms - all it took was a picture of a dead child washed up on a Turkish beach for society to finally gain a conscience and brand this a 'crisis.' Except people still haven't...

On Cannabis

There will be four key issues that eventually people will look back on and say: "Why were these issues again?" And the only answer will be: "Because people are stupid." These issues are: gender equality, race equality, LGBT equality, and marijuana.