SHUT UP ED SHEERAN

I originally hated Ed Sheeran. My 'cool' friends were going mad over this guy (forgetting he wrote songs for One Direction) whilst I was getting excited about Kraftwerk's return, but I tried to put all taste aside so I could listen to his first album: + with open ears. I still hated it. I hated how Ed sounded so pleased with himself whilst singing about a prostitute dying of drug addiction in The A Team. I hated how he promised to be there for some person in Lego House without actually saying how he'll support this person (though, the music video is actually really clever). I hated the swagger he tries to convey in You Need Me I Don't Need You whilst sounding as nasally and out of his league as Vanilla Ice.

Dulux Hollywood White

You'd think that after Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Barrack Obama, the thousands of black Americans who've called America out on it's inherent racism, and the millions who have been victims to racial abuse - the United States might stop being racist assholes for once.

"The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword"

At face value, it's clear the pen isn't mightier than the sword. Maybe you could ride into battle with The Complete Works of Shakespeare to use as a sort of warhammer, but try it with Heart of Darkness then let me know how much of your face remains afterwards. And let us not forget that this blog post doesn't actually exist within this universe. You're peering through the black mirror into a digital world that cannot harm you unless you allow it to.

Adventures in Amsterdam

So it may seem as though I was embarking upon a typical 'lads trip out' when I hopped on the train to der Nederlands, but this was slightly different since rather than bringing five jockish straight dudes determined to smoke marijuana and chug alcohol (which, if you're thinking this sounds like a great idea, isn't) I bought my family.