Being Boring

The question I get asked all the time: “Max, why have you never written a gay protagonist?”

Well…I don’t know. 

Despite being a gay writer, I don’t write gay fiction. I know there is a massive gap in literature for LGBT protagonists, but I’ve never exactly been one to keep up with trends. The very fact that publishers are considering gay fiction a ‘trend’ sickens me the same way I’m sickened by anyone who sees art as a means for profit, rather than an end for the human condition. I’ve long realised that I’m never going to be JK Rowling, and I’m probably never going to pay off my student loan. So I don’t care if I make no money from writing (though I’ll happily take any) as long as I say all I want to say before leaving. And I will say whatever I want to say, thank you very much.

I don’t consider my sexuality a defining trait. I see my preference for men equal to my preference for Italian cuisine. If you want to know how I feel every day, listen to someone who thinks I should be stoned to death and imagine they’re discussing your favourite food. “Noodle-lovers are a perversion of nature and should be hanged. Letting them marry other noodle-lovers goes against everything society stands for.” Hopefully you’ll see how ridiculous yet frightening the whole thing is.

I’ve written many characters that don’t explicitly state their sexuality. I’ve written about five stories with a child as the protagonist. Maybe that child will experience her/his first love, and the person they fall in love with might be the same gender. Or maybe the child will realise he/she was born in the wrong body. I don’t know. The story is set before all that happens.

I’ve written quite a few characters that have been persecuted. You could argue it’s all an allegory for homophobia – but really, I consider it an allegory for prejudice as a whole. I’ve always believed that tackling prejudice on a case-by-case basis just closes one door whilst opening another. Why target the ridiculousness of anti-Semitism or islamophobia when you can target the abject stupidity of hating something just because it’s unfamiliar?

The closest I’ve come to writing a gay character is a semi-autobiographical story. The story briefly mentions the protagonist’s first sexual encounter, but for some reason I kept it androgynous. It’s not because I’m uncomfortable about discussing my sexuality (I’m happy to, it’s just no-one ever brings it up so I assume no-one’s interested. It's like discussing Norwich) but because I’m in general uncomfortable with discussing my personality as a whole. I'm a writer, not a journalist.

I write by instinct. I’m in the process of creating a play where an elderly soldier thinks the corpse of a male hospital-patient is his wife. At the end of the play, the corpse comes to life and sings the soldier to sleep. When I showed a first draft, everyone asked why the corpse comes to life. To this, I could only answer that as soon as I imagined the corpse, I imagined it eventually coming to life and comforting the soldier. To end the play with the corpse still a corpse would be a travesty. I would not be able to sleep at night if that corpse didn't move.

If I should one day imagine a gay character with a story worth telling, I will tell it. If I should be in the middle of writing a character, before realising that said character is gay – I will write it. I’m a slave to the art. Currently, instinct has not led me to write a character with the same sexuality as me. Maybe one day it will, but that day has yet to come.